The Discovery Beyond the Mind
As a hypnotist, I’ve spent thousands of hours helping people understand and work with problems brought on by the mind. I’ve watched people overcome fears, release old memories, change habits, and transform the way they experience life. The mind is an extraordinary tool or an awful antagonist.
Ironically, one of the greatest discoveries I’ve made is that sometimes the best way to feel better isn’t to work harder on the mind at all. It’s to go beyond it.
You are more than every passing thought, every emotion, every memory, and every story your mind tells you is true. When you discover that for yourself, something remarkable happens. The mind starts becoming quiet naturally, and what once felt overwhelming starts to lose its grip.
With that, I want to teach you how to go beyond the mind yourself, and do something that you don’t hear much about anymore: DETACH.
What Detachment Really Means
Not detach from people, and not detach from feeling things—BUT detach from being swallowed by the pain, stress or suffering that the mind is creating.
Most people think detachment means becoming cold, numb, or building walls so nothing gets in. That version doesn’t work. Feelings you push down don’t disappear; they simply find another way to express themselves later, often in ways that are even more painful.
Real detachment is the opposite of numbness. It’s learning to experience life fully without being consumed by it. And here is how you do it.
Think of yourself as the sky.
Your thoughts, emotions, memories and even physical pain are the weather. Some days the sky is clear. Other days dark clouds roll in. There may be wind, lightning, or even a violent storm. And, the weather is real.
But no matter how intense the storm becomes, you are the one watching it. Like the sky itself, you can learn to remain untouched.
Most people spend their lives believing they are the weather. When fear appears, they become fear. We even say, “I am afraid,” “I am angry,” or “I am sad.”
That’s right, when sadness appears, they become sadness. When anger appears, they become anger and it goes on and on and on.
The moment you realize you can zoom out—that you can watch your experience instead of becoming it—you become larger than your problems. You become the sky instead of the storm….and everything begins to change.
The storms will still arrive. But they no longer define you.
How to Practice: Notice Instead of Narrate
So, the next time a strong emotion appears — a mind storm, resist the urge to immediately explain it, analyze it, or tell yourself a story about why it’s happening.
Simply notice it. Fully. And stay with it until it passes.
“There is sadness here.”
“There is frustration here.”
“There is fear here.”
Notice how different that feels from saying,
“I am sad.”
“I am angry.”
“I am afraid.”
That small shift represents a much larger one.
Instead of standing inside the storm, you’ve stepped back just enough to see it. You as awareness have become larger than the experience.
The same is true with thoughts and even with your physical pain. With practice, you’ll begin to experience yourself as bigger and broader than your problems, and they will become less bothersome.
You’ll notice that you can be fully in the experience, feeling it, or if you like you an step back and observe it — whenever you choose.
And that is a very special kind of freedom.
But practice is the key. And you have to use your willpower to look at these mind and body storms as if you are on the outside. And when you do you’ll notice something else. You’ll notice that you are more of the awareness of it all, rather than anything else.
One thing you must know however, if it feels like there is no difference between you and what you are feeling don’t give up. Keep trying. Eventually you will see the difference and feel relief. This takes practice.
You have to actually commit and not back down. If it wears you out or completely overwhelms you, Stop for the time being, but do begin again later. Keep beginning again and again. It will be so worth it.
But don’t take my word for it. See for yourself.
Working With Old Memories
You can try this with memories too. An old memory can pull you backward so quickly that within seconds you’re reliving a conversation from twenty years ago. Your body then begins to react as though it’s happening all over again. You become angry, stressed, nervous, guity, or sad.
When you notice this happening, pause.
Rather than saying,
“I’m back there again,”
Try this:
“There is a memory arising.”
You don’t need to argue with it.
You don’t need to force it away.
You don’t even need to replace it with a positive thought.
Simply zoom out or mentally step back and look at it. Stand your ground as the space that is looking. Don’t believe the mind that says that you are this mind generated stuff and that you must suffer.
Think about it most of it is based on mere imagination anyway. Because that is what the mind does. It projects through imagination and it replays in your imagination. And that is what is bothering you the most. Fantasy. Imagination. Hallucination.
The memory is real. really something that did happen.
The emotion is real. You feel it.
The discomfort is real too.
But ponder this.
If my mind would calm or even stop going on about it, how bothered would I really be? And who is bothered anyway? Isn’t that also the mind?
So, none of these things the mind produces is the whole truth of who you are.This simple shift changes the relationship you have with your own mind. Now it can’t boss you around so easily.
Not because you fought it, but because you just looked right at it and you didn’t stop looking at it. Nothing stops mindstuff as fast as your own consciousness pointed right at it.
Instead of becoming trapped inside every passing experience, whether internal or external, you begin watching experiences come and go naturally. And, Ironically, the less you fight them or try to fix them, the more quickly they move on.
Why Detachment Makes You More Loving, Not Less
People often worry that detachment will make them less caring. In my experience, the opposite is true. When you no longer need people to think, behave, or respond in a certain way for you to be okay, you’re finally free to love them as they are.
You become a better listener because you’re no longer preparing your defense. You become more compassionate because you aren’t overwhelmed by your own reactions. You become calmer because your peace is no longer dependent on everyone else’s behavior.
And maybe best of all, in general, you will notice that you are just not so bothered by things or people anymore. You feel lighter. Happier. Safer.
Detachment doesn’t make you love less. It allows you to love with greater freedom from a larger space. Keep in mind though, that like any worthwhile skill, this takes practice, and at first willpower.
Making It a Daily Practice
So, make a decision to do this and then do it as much as you can remember to. A good reminder is simply when you feel bad. That feeling is like a bell alerting you to step back and look at what the body or mind is producing again.
But you don’t have to wait to feel bad before you practice. You can simply start watching your mind and body actively for five minutes here and five minutes there (or longer and more often) as a meditation practice. Just check in and see what the mind and body is up to. Watch your thoughts and feelings come and go. Don’t believe them and don’t get involved in them.
And, it won’t be long and the storm will give up. It lives by your unconscious believing in it or agreeing with it. Become conscious.
Sometimes do your practice with eyes closed. Sometimes eyes open. It actually can be kind of fun.
Your mind has spent years convincing you that every thought deserves attention and every emotion deserves immediate reaction. That there is something wrong with you. You’ve practiced becoming the storm for a very long time.
Now you’re practicing something different. Use a little force of will to take back your life and your happiness. You can do it. And then after a little while it becomes easier and easier!
It is very hard to stay constantly aware. As you keep practicing, it gets easier to catch the mind and it’s habitual storming and you’ll begin to notice after a few seconds that your mind at it again. Eventually, you’ll recognize the storm while it’s still gathering and you will stay back and watch it brewing fearlessly. You may even say, “Hey, bring it on. Take your best shot.”
The Goal Isn’t to Stop Feeling
That ability to see it is where freedom begins. The goal isn’t to eliminate difficult emotions. The goal isn’t to stop thinking. The goal isn’t to become emotionally flat or never feel physical pain. The goal is to remember that thoughts and physical pain are passing events and when you’re not in them they’re much more tolerable.
Yeah, you are your own shelter from the rain.
The weather will continue.
Storms will come.
Storms will go.
But the sky always remains stable.
And you don’t have to spend your life trying to fix every cloud that drifts through our awareness. You can simply notice it…Allow it…Learn from it, if there’s something to learn…And let it go on it’s way.
Maybe peace isn’t something we create. Maybe peace is what is left when we stop mistaking ourselves for the weather.
Hypnosis is a great took for making this practice easier. If you’d like more information on how to access your own power like this, just set up a free telephone consultation with me.
About Family First Hypnosis
Helping everyday people with everyday and extraordinary problems.
Service area: Plano, Frisco, McKinney, Allen, Richardson, Carrollton, The Colony, Garland, Dallas, and virtually worldwide
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- We help with weight loss like no one else can. Go to the root causes and finally lose weight and keep it off.
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Celeste always offers free 30-minute consultations, just book your choice of time and day to chat with her. And yes, she does offer virtual sessions as well, so you don’t have to be in the Dallas, Fort Worth area to work with her. You can set up that free consultation on her website at: Book A Free Consult HERE
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